1. When a cucumber goes soft you can just throw it away.
2. A cucumber will not get jealous if you have other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
3. You can have a cucumber every day and no one would say anything.
4. You can talk about having had a cucumber without regret.
5. You can see what a cucumber looks like before you take it home.
6. Cucumbers are healthier for you.
7. A cucumber won't say you are fat.
8. A cucumber won't say your mother is fat.
9. A cucumber will never tell you it met another cucumber.
10. A cucumber won't get mad when you get another one.
11. A cucumber doesn't whine.
12. All cucumbers are at least 6 inches long.
13. Cucumbers have no egos.
14. A cucumber will get along with your mother-in-law.
15. Squeezing a cucumber before you buy it wont get it excited.
16. Cucumbers are thicker.
17. Cucumbers don't show off in front of other cucumbers.
18. Cucumbers don't watch T.V.
19. Cucumbers don't snore at night.
20. A cucumber will never ask you 'how was I' after your finished with it.
21. Cucumbers never sleep and are always ready.
22. Cucumbers don't steal your blankets at night.
23. Cucumbers don't leave the toilet seat up.
24. You can have a cucumber in public and no one would care.
25. No one would think badly of you if you throw a used cucumber away.
26. Cucumbers can be trusted to be left alone.
27. Cucumbers don't care about football.
28. Cucumbers don't need to be fed.
29. While cucumbers don't do housework, they don't make any more for you.
30. Cucumbers can stay hard for a week or more!
31.You don't have to wash a cucumber before it tastes good.
32. Cucumbers don't care how long it takes you to come.
33. Cucumbers are always ready when you are.
34. You can cut up a cucumber, without having to worry about going to court.
More to come....open to suggestions.